After having a few weeks off from blogging, I wanted to jump in and just share what has been going on the last few weeks. I also want to start up my “Monday Moodboard” posts again as they’re posts that I enjoy writing, it’s almost therapeutic for me to look back over my week. I enjoy picking the lovely little things that have happened that week to highlight too. Keeping everything positive is so important to me right now
The past few weeks have been some of the most stressful weeks of, I think, my life? I’ve had to go to the hospital on multiple occasions, the first week I had to go three times. Monday for a Pre-Assessment for Surgery, Tuesday for a CT scan (which lasted about 10 minutes) and Friday, for another Fine Needle Aspiration which turned out to be a Core Biopsy and made the Fine Needle Aspiration I had look like a walk in the park. It made Friday a bit of a write off as I was uncomfortable and mopey. Thinking back over the procedure just makes me cringe.
I also had to take my dog to the vets on Saturday as we’ve found out she’s in a lot of pain because of an abscess behind her eye. Literally, in the space of about 12 hours, she had this massive swelling causing her eye to close slightly. On the one hand, I’m glad it came up quick as it meant we could do something about it but she was a lot of pain and I felt so sorry for her. She’s on a lot of drugs this week (things like antibiotics and pain relief) but she might still have to have surgery. She’s doing a lot better at the moment, the danger is the swelling coming back when she comes off the medication.
So on the whole, as you can see this week has been very very stressful for everyone in my family. On the one hand, I couldn’t wait for this week to end but on the other hand, I’m nervous about the next couple of weeks coming as it’s getting closer and closer to my surgery.
I’ve not done too much this week, I’ve been so tired and fatigued and it may sound silly, but going to the hospital takes a lot out of me. So much so that I’ve been in bed a lot this week, endless cups of tea (actually coffee but tea sounds nicer in a sentence doesn’t it?!) and old episodes of The Great British Bake Off on Netflix.
I was determined to make the next few weeks better than the last and so far I’ve achieved that, I’ve been taking it easy but also trying to fit in activities that I enjoy (like blogging) and also spending time with family. It was Elliot’s mums birthday on Monday and I wanted to make that quite a special occasion. We picked out some lovely gifts, and I also made some scones (this recipe – would recommend!) which everyone enjoyed. I’m thinking we might go and see The Meg which is out in cinemas now too, I find going to the cinema always takes my mind off things.
I had to go to the hospital again on Wednesday for my results from my past two procedures, they’ve confirmed that yes, after doing the Core Biopsy they can now say it’s cancer. They’ve also now given me a surgery date which is so so soon. I feel a little bit like, I should be making the most of this time whilst I still feel like “myself”. But I also cannot wait for the surgery date to hurry up, no matter how anxious about it I feel or how awful I will feel after the surgery, it’s the best option for me and I cannot wait to get rid of the tumour.
I’ve been thinking about the future of my blog too, not just because I’m not sure how much attention I’m going to be able to give it (posts might be few and far between but I’m not abandoning it). I would love to create some kind of retweet account on Twitter and I’m also thinking about creating a hashtag. I’ve always wanted to create a hashtag, something to do with flatlays or beauty perhaps. I was also toying with the idea of hashtagging the posts where I talk about cancer so they’re all in one place, I’m not sure how much interest people will have in this. Do I talk about cancer too much? This will surely change, I’m not going to want to harp on about it forever but it’s something that’s has come along and turned my whole world upside down.
I’ve also been continuing to post to Instagram and vlog too, the amount of support I’ve gotten recently from everyone has been amazing. I was so unsure of what/if I should share various bits about my life, but I’m so glad I have. Being able to talk about it freely does help, I’m able to choose what I share and I have control over who sees what online too. Vlogging is also something that I’m really enjoying and I’m so glad I started. It is fun, filming different bits of my day and I can give it my whole attention. The editing is also something I enjoy doing, I just don’t like how long it takes to upload to youtube!
These might seem like very minor things to do but it’ll keep me busy and it’s only a bit of fun. Something distracting for me, seen as I don’t work at the moment. I think distraction is going to be how I get by the next few weeks.
What are everyones plans for the weekend?