I think January isn’t a good month for anyone, and it makes it particularly worse for me as it’s my birthday month. All the festivities are over, everyone’s a bit down in the dumps, has no money and you’ve probably started and then stopped your resolutions already.
I posted on twitter that I think I’m having a mid-life crisis (just a bit early), and it proved to be quite a popular tweet as SO many people understood what I meant and could say that they were feeling the same as me. It definitely helped to know that I’m not alone in this feeling although it’s obviously not good that so many of us go through the same thing.
I think I’ve become a bit compliant in my life. It wasn’t particularly exciting before cancer and since I’ve spent all my energy on getting better, everything else has kind of fallen to the sideline. I’ve become comfortable.
And I need to become uncomfortable again.
There’s a quote that goes something like “nothing happens when you’re in your comfort zone” and that’s really stuck with me. Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time and energy making changes so that I’m improving myself and my life, not just sitting nicely in my comfort zone.
I kind of feel like I haven’t achieved as much as other people in their life at this age, there are people out there renting flats, saving money and potentially owning their own property by now or building their careers. I’m always the first person to tell people not to compare yourself with others as we all know “comparison is the thief of joy”, however, I’m one of the worst people for it.
Saying this, I have been trying to get out of my comfort zone. I’ve been making progress with my driving. Going out every day for a week with my sister which really helped build up my confidence again. I don’t stall nearly as much now, I can talk a bit more when driving and I’ve also booked my theory test (second time as the first one ran out!) and I’ve looked into instructors to hopefully book one in for some lessons soon.
Elliot and I will also be changing his car so we can save a bit of money (and hopefully buy me a car!). We are also going to be changing where we live really soon (not moving out) but changing who we live for a little while with which will hopefully give us a lot more space and help change things up.
I really feel this year (before I turn 25) I need to shake things up and just try things I’ve never tried before. I’m continually learning to drive again, going to the gym, trying to save money and make some decisions about my future which will all better me.
I also have so many ideas buzzing around my head about jobs/money which I really need to expand on. I would absolutely love to become self-employed and there are areas of my life which allow for this. It’s just making that final leap into it which I think I need to do.
I hope this post makes some kind of sense. I think it’s been quite helpful for me to offload everything. And if you’re feeling the same way as me then hopefully, you know you’re not alone.