Recently when I was sat having a break at work, I was on the phone to my boyfriend and I said to him "Nothing has changed in the last six months". I wasn't talking about our relationship but I was talking about life, my life. Nothing has changed in my mind in the last six months. I'm still at my retail job, still working away for not very much money, still haven't lost any weight, still living at home (at the time) and still can't drive. Which to me, is all the big stuff that was weighing me down. I did always have a goal in mind which was to learn to drive, build up my savings and then move out. And for some reason, it had to be done in this order. However I didn't actually seem to be taking any steps to actually make stuff change or make a difference to my situation at all.
Sure it's not as easy as having a plan and sticking to it, life gets in the way. Some of you may or may not know, but driving is incredibly hard for me in terms of anxiety and confidence, often leaving me in floods of tears before and after lessons. Changing jobs is also something that could be done easily... if I knew what I wanted to do. However there only seems to be the option of either retail or office work, neither of which particularly excites me. So nothing has changed in the last six months.
However, so much stuff has changed in the last six months. My boyfriend got out of his dead end job which was making him so unhappy and affecting his health. He got a job for experience, in a completely new line of work that he didn't have to be at forever however it turns out that he is absolutely brilliant at his new job and I couldn't be happier for him. He's also actually changed his role in work now, something that came so easily and means that after being in this current role for a year he can also do some more exams and gain experience and build a career. We basically also moved in together in my parents house to help us save, which as soppy as it sounds, I couldn't imagine not waking up next to him. You know when you meet the right person, it just feels right and clicks.
I also grew so much on instagram and became much happier with my photos, really finding a style that suits me. I found a blog design that works for me and also I think I've found where I fit in the blogging world. Mainly from feeling more accepted and talking to some lovely other girls on Instagram and feeling more confident with my photos and content. It does take time, you can't expect to sign up for instagram and start posting photos and be an instant success or even feel that happy with what your posting yourself. It takes time but it's worth it.
I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my gorgeous best friend, something that I still can't believe and I can't wait to celebrate with both of them in September. I went to see her in her wedding dress recently and she looked absolutely gorgeous, she'll make the most gorgeous bride. She is so lovely on the inside and out and is honestly one of the most supportive and kind people I have ever met, I couldn't imagine not being friends with her and I never want to take that friendship for granted.
Another thing that happened in the last few months have been going away to Amsterdam, my first trip away in about two or three years and I got to explore a new place with people I love. I got to stay in a beautiful hotel room, explore a new city, learn more about myself, reconfirm that I don't mind flying and create new memories.
Sometimes we're so caught up in the "big" stuff that the little things that change, happen and exist don't get appreciated as much as they should.
I'm starting to think that maybe I shouldn't put so much pressure on myself. I've always had the plan of driving, changing jobs and moving out in that order. But if we did find a flat near work that we can afford why shouldn't that have happened first? What if I find a brilliant job that excites and inspires me and changing jobs happens next? There doesn't have to be a big plan that I have to stick to.
Sometimes it makes sense to sort certain stuff out first but otherwise, why not just let it happen the way it happens.
Life doesn't have to be planned out and we don't have to panic if we don't have a plan at all.
Writing this post really made me realise what I'm ready for and what still needs work. It also allowed me and my boyfriend to sit down, have a long chat and figure out what would be the best for us both. We can definitely afford a flat and we found flat that we love in a new build block that is about a 15 minute walk away from my work, it's modern and it even has a bath. We have been living in it around a month now and it just feel right. I was so nervous and anxious about moving out and 'adjusting' but it just feels right. We have settled so quickly, and sure, there's still stuff we need to do and furniture we need to buy but I think we're going to be here for a very long time.
Sometimes taking a step back and looking at everything that has happened allows you to put everything into perspective. Makes you realise what is important and what isn't. We are so excited for this next chapter in our lives and taking this next step in our relationship.
Any tips or advice about anything (living with a boy perhaps?) would be greatly appreciated. I would love to know some little things that have happened to you over the last six months that have perhaps gone a bit unnoticed but mean a lot.